


A Shiny Collar

by Merit



Category: DCU
Genre: Crack, Gen, Pre-New 52, Were-Creatures, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3091892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merit/pseuds/Merit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Jason had been, there was now a dog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Shiny Collar

Tim was fairly certain – within a 98% probability – that Jason hadn’t intended it.

It was one of those rare occasions that most of the family - we sound like the mafia, insisted Steph, we need a better name. Family, Damian had scoffed. As if I would ever want to be related to _you_. He shared his glare equally with Steph and Tim though Tim noticed he seemed to go a touch red when Steph sighed at him – had been in the same room. Jason and Bruce were shouting at each other. Alfred had tried to intervene, but after had Bruce had sternly dismissed him, he had stiffly turned away and poured himself a measure of sherry. Cass was watching them both sadly. Dick looked ready to tear his hair out and Barbara had declared them all babies. Jason and Bruce had both ignored her.

It had been about death, dying, using guns and how Gotham was _Bruce’s_ city. Jason laughed, hollow and ran a hand through his hair, white streak almost accusing Bruce. Jason had bled and died for Gotham, wasn’t that enough? “Right,” Jason said, shaking his head, a dismissive snarl on his lips. “I was wrong to think you had changed. I realize that now. I’ve had enough.” Jason made a move to leave then stopped. He rocked back on his heels, peculiar expression crossing his face. He opened his mouth.

“You alright?” Steph asked. She wasn’t fool enough to get involved in Bruce and Jason’s arguments but Tim had long suspected that she had a soft spot for Jason. Something about being killed as Robins.

“Something’s wrong,” Cass exclaimed, she blinked twice as if she couldn’t believe her eyes, “Something’s really wrong.”

Jason shook his head, his face paling and sweat appearing his brow. He took a step back, clutching his chest. A moment later he had fallen to his knees, back arching back, his face twisted in agony. Dick sprang to his feet, Bruce half a step behind him, all arguments forgotten. But Jason waved them away, a guttural groan emerging from his lips. A second later, the room flashed white and someone whimpered

Tim opened his eyes, blinking away white spots. Jason seemed to have collapsed but. He wasn’t there. His boots had been knocked over, socks peeking out, his dark jeans sagged on the ground everything empty. Instead something small was wriggling in his leather jacket. Bruce had stepped in front of Dick, one hand raised. Then the thing... _barked_.

Everyone seemed to tense and then relax. Barring a mutant attack dog, not impossible but unlikely, it looked like there was just a dog where Jason had been. Bruce knelt down and picked up the jacket, his face studiously blank. A small dog was revealed. One of those numerous terrier breeds, with a short smooth black coat. He growled when he saw Bruce’s face. He had an _interesting_ white streak on his head.

Ignoring the growls, Bruce put his hand in front of the dog’s face. The growls increased before the dog carefully stiffed at Bruce’s hand. Then it turned away and started to... relieve himself on Bruce’s knee.

Bruce really did have an extensive curse inventory, Tim considered, stepping carefully away from a fuming Bruce and a suddenly cheerful black dog.

 

* * *

 

“Werewolf,” Steph said stubbornly, crossing her arms across her chest and setting her chin down. “Hello! It is full moon. It is has be werewolf. So that’s why we should call him Jason. It’s his name after all.”

The possible werewolf had curled up on Dick’s lap and would growl if you tried to move him. Dick looked amused but Bruce – in a crisp pair of new trousers – was glaring at the dog. They had been discussing possible reasons of how a dog had appeared where Jason had been. Things had lightened considerably when Alfred had produced a festive green collar that had fit the dog perfectly.

 Steph had taken half a dozen selfies with the dog already. She had taken a few of Cass and Jason together, saying that looked so cute together. Jason had wagged his tail, pink tongue lolling out when Cass held him. She regarded him with some amusement.  Knowing what she did about the human body, Tim wondered what she was reading from Jason as a dog. Or werewolf. Wereterrier.

“Aren’t werewolves supposed to be bigger? More like a wolf?” Damian asked, watching Jason and Dick sceptically.

“Maybe the wolf part is an urban legend,” Steph said, shrugging. “A small dog is better for the city anyway. I wouldn’t look twice at him on the street, but I would definitely notice a wolf.”

“It might not be a werewolf,” Tim pointed out. “Could be something else like magic.”

“It could be some sort of voice activated spell,” Barbara said thoughtfully, she reached out and patted the dog behind the ears. It tensed for a moment before his – Dick had confirmed a few moments after it had settled in his lap, though the dog hadn’t seemed too pleased – tail started to rhythmatically thrum against Dick’s thigh. “Zatanna might know.”

“I think it is Jason,” Cass said quietly. “Something about him, even in this form, it is him.”

“Who’s a good boy?” Dick said, rubbing under the dog’s chin. The dog wriggled and made pleased noises. Dick and Barbara laughed.

“You know guys,” Tim said dryly, “If he is a werewolf, then this is Jason that’s petting.”

Dick shrugged and Barbara hummed. “Oh nothing that can’t be shared between close friends,” she said, giving Dick a sly look. He grinned broadly at her and nodded. Tim rolled his eyes.

Then Steph giggled in his ear and slid so she was sitting next to him. “Oh don’t be so stern, Tim, it’s not like you haven’t ever,” she paused and giggled again while Dick looked curiously at Tim. Even the possible Jason the werewolf was giving him an interesting stare. Before he rolled onto his back and started wriggling his legs in delight as Barbara reached a particularly good spot behind his ears.

“I think I’m going to vomit,” Damian declared, giving them all disgusted looks. Only Alfred was spared.

“Just wait til you’re a teenager,” Steph said, giving him a mischievous look. “Hormones coursing through your body, pimples, growth spurts, all those delicious tingly feelings...”

“There are ways around that,” Damian said, “Magic maybe,” he rubbed his chin. “Or science.”

“No magic,” Bruce said. “You’re not using magic to speed up your teenage years. Or science,” he added.

“Yeah, it’ll just feel like decades!” Steph said. Bruce gave her a flat look which she resolutely ignored. “Anyway,” Steph continued. “If he’s a werewolf then he’ll just turn back into a human when the moon sets. Or when the sun rises. I’m not up on my werewolf mythology. If not... magic might have to get involved.”

Bruce’s lips thinned. “As a last resort,” he muttered, giving Dick a foul look. Dick, who was completely occupied with cooing over the doggie in his lap completely missed it. Though Barbara saw and rolled her eyes.

“Oh Bruce,” she said, smiling sweetly at him. “Why don’t you try patting him again? Just be nice this time.”

“I’m always nice,” Bruce said, defensively. His shoulders hunched over when Steph laughed and even Damian snorted. He approached Dick and the dog slowly and when he was a few paces he sank to his knees and offered his hand to Jason. The dog froze. Then he looked at Bruce. Bruce’s expression didn’t change. He sniffed delicately at Bruce’s fingers for a few seconds while everyone held their breath. Then he jumped on Dick’s chest and started whuffing at his ear. Dick made a sound of delight.

Bruce had a face like curdled milk by this point.

 

* * *

An hour later and Damian was teaching the dog tricks. He had a baggie of treats – “Where did he even get that?” Bruce murmured while Alfred looked incredibly innocent – was doling them out whenever Jason showed improvement. He smiled when Jason mastered ‘sit’ and started giving Jason several ear pats.

“Werewolf, really?” Tim asked Steph, using all of his years of hiding a secret identity to keep himself from grinning as Bruce got increasingly frustrated over how Jason was ignoring him.

She shrugged and whipped out her phone. A few taps later and she shows Tim a page. “It is not, like, impossible. Plus with our job, it’s not like we haven’t seen weirder shit. Killer Croc, Gorilla Grodd...”

“Killer Croc has a medical condition and Gorilla Grodd was changed through a meteorite,” Tim retorted, “Rational explanations. And I don’t think we can really rely on Wikipedia,” he added, pointing at her phone.

“Oh Tim,” she said, sighing. “Everyone relies on Wikipedia. How else am I supposed to maintain my grade average without looking at the sources at the end of the page?” She scrolled down the page and then clicked on a link. They both winced at the horrible page that loaded. “Okay,” she said, “This site hasn’t updated their design since 2005 but hey. It is supposed to be a forum where real live werewolves chat!”

It involved a lot of talk about hair balls. With pics attached. Steph got used to rapidly pressing the back button. She gave Jason a suspicious look.

“I’m not cleaning that up,” Tim muttered, looking queasy.

“There’s a Gotham page!” Steph said excitedly, ignoring his pain. “Oh god. There’s this lady crying about how she bit this dude who tried to pet her.”

“And?”

“And it happened a month ago. She thought he was wearing some sort of mask. But you know. Dog colour blindness and couldn’t remember much else. She’s asking everyone if they knew any costume parties that were happening that night,” Steph said.

“It is a bit strange that we didn’t know there was a not really secret community of werewolves until right now,” Tim commented.

Steph waved her hand dismissively. “They seem like a bunch of dorks. Not like the stories of wild beasts biting everyone. That’s why we never noticed. They don’t cause any trouble.”

“Hmm. It’s certainly a possibility,” Tim said.

“Oh really?” Steph said, raising a brow. A moment she elbowed him softly in the stomach. Tim pouted and Steph giggled. “Just because I seem to have become the master detective before you is no reason to get huffy.”

“Really?” Bruce intoned, suddenly appearing behind them. He really could put his Dark Knight persona to use for the worst purposes, Tim thought, as his heart calmed. Tim inclined his head at Bruce.

Steph had no such pretentions. “My heart!” She said, clutching at her chest and swooning back. Tim coughed to avoid laughing.

“A master detective should be aware of their surroundings,” Bruce said and then paused. “But good work, Steph.” She brightened and nodded graciously. “We’ll try and trace the original poster. Show her some Red Hood pictures and see if she remembers the mask.”

“Might want to wait till morning,” Steph said. “What with the werewolf thing. She’s probably curled up in her doggie bed.”

 

* * *

 

Barbara was slouched in a recliner, Dick sprawled on a couch. Cass and Steph were cuddling together on another couch, black and blonde hair mingling, hands held. While Tim had decided a recliner was probably the better of two options over the floor. Damian had declared he cared for his spine and had retreated upstairs. After surveying the former Robins, the former Batgirl and the current Batgirl, Alfred had placed a hand on Bruce’s shoulder.

“I think I’ll take my leave as well,” he murmured, keeping his voice low in deference to the sleepers.

“Thank you, Alfred,” Bruce said. Then turned his attention to Jason.

Jason was sprawled in front of a window, the moon a gentle light on his smooth black fur. Walking quietly Bruce approached him but before he could get too close, Jason opened his eyes.

“I do notice,” Bruce said. “I know what you went through even if I don’t understand,” he paused and sighed, running a hand through his hair. “And sometimes I do,” he said quietly, looking away from Jason and out the window. The moon was fading as grey streaks started to lighten the sky. “Sometimes I understand murder. But I can never let myself give in to those urges. I never want you to give in either. I never wanted so much to happen.”

The dog made a soft noise. Jason noised at Bruce’s foot and then rolled onto his back. Bruce smiled and knelt down, scratching at Jason’s belly.

“Maybe it would be easier if we were just dogs,” Bruce said and then shook his head. “I can’t believe I’m talking about being a dog,” he said. “To a werewolf,” he said, chuckling.

He shifted to make himself more comfortable and then brought Jason close.

 

* * *

 

Tim was the first to wake up. He blinked away sleep, twisting his neck and sighed with relief when it clicked. Then he froze. He hand went to his hip and with slow and careful hands, he pulled out his phone, turned on the camera and snapped three shots in quick succession. He then relaxed. He had proof whatever happened now.

He cleared his throat and poked Steph. She flailed, almost hitting him the face and grunted, “What?” Behind her, Cass cracked opened an eye and then smiled when she saw Tim’s face.

“You’ll want to see this?” He whispered. Their movement and sounds had stirred Barbara and Dick. Dick stretched and Tim turned away. “Look,” he said, pointing to where Bruce lay in front of the window, Jason curled around his body.

“Oh,” Steph said softly, bringing a hand to her mouth to cover a yawn. “That’s so cute.”

Sliding around Steph, Tim padded quietly over to where Jason and Bruce were. He snapped a few more photos as he crept closer and quickly sent them to a backup email address. As his shadow cross Jason’s face, he blinked a few times before opening his eyes fully. He took in the situation. A very stretchy collar around his neck, Bruce’s arm around his waist, their legs tangled together and Tim standing in front them, phone raised.

“I’m to kill all of you,” Jason said and lunged for the phone.

**Author's Note:**

> Cracky holiday fic! The sort of fic that comes to you at 1am ^^;;
> 
> And if you're wondering what sort of dog Jason is, he is a Patterdale Terrier. With a bit of mutt in as well probably.


End file.
